It’s not the same.

It’s not the same. It’s not the same as when Meg Ryan fell in love with some man she met on the Empire State building by simply touching his hands. It’s not the same as being casual acquaintances to hating someone to loving someone so much you run through New York City on New Years eve to be with them. It’s not the same as writing beautiful emails to someone and falling in love with them by tripping over their words. None of it is the same. It’s about meeting someone online and finding out that they are not horrible so I guess I’ll go on a date. It’s about hoping and wishing that the text “okay” means I’m in; but not in an ironic I’m going to not actually show that I’m into you kind of way. It’s all so different. So stressful. So many gray areas. I can’t even begin to understand how we got here. I long for beautiful letters and romantic dinners. I think mystery is amazing. I think the human connection has lost it’s meaning. I think that at this rate we will stomp out all the fun out of love by becoming so logical, so obsessed with immediate satisfaction that we forget why we are searching. Why it’s so important to find the person that is beautiful, perfect and our perfect match. The person that is home. The person that completes us. The person who would laugh when you fell but also put their arm around you to make sure you are okay. We all want them. Why are we so lazily searching? Why are so complacent on the thing that makes us human. The most important answer. I don’t mean decision. Who you love is not a decision. It’s an answer. It’s choosing to say yes to happiness. I hope I have the courage to say yes someday.

-to the one who makes me smile on my worst of days and makes me laugh every single day. You are my happiness. I’d say yes to you.