it’s painful, but not quite torture so I’ll go with it




all of these I carry

from when I see my phone light up

and when I see you walk away.

It hurts to be with you

and even more without.


swapping stories in familiar dark places

comforting and unsettling

how can I be truthful?

How can I know you that way?

you don’t even see me.


standing in the moonlight,

watching the stars

standing in the sunlight

watching other women

confused can’t even describe it


long talks

long cries

burnt cigarrettes

empty bottles

plane trips

desert escapes

these are the moments of our lives.